I read a joke a few days ago from one of the English Newspapers here. The writer described being ‘old’. He said, ‘when you are young pulling an all nighter means staying up all night without sleep. When you are old, pulling an all nighter mean sleeping all night without getting up!’
Well, between Amanda’s pregnancy and the heat, I guess we are now officially old because most days all we want is to get a full night’s sleep.
Today’s newspaper had an article regarding a crime over the weekend. The writer indicated that the victim died from complications caused by a “serious bullet injury.” I thought that was funny. He didn’t want to say the guy was shot, that would mean someone had to do the shooting. Then my mind raced to think of other ways this man could have suffered a bullet injury without having been shot. Honestly, reading the paper and finding these stories is the most fun I have on a normal day.
In the paper yesterday was a section of valentine’s messages that sweethearts in the city sent to their loved ones. Here are some classic and funny samples from our local paper:
One man signed his message, “Husbandly Yours, …”
Another doted on how, “our life together is not a fairy…”
One love struck young main told his sweetie that “you are my Brain Breath”
A loving husband declared that “You are my best wife”, as if to say she was better then his others.
Another man prayed that “our love will grow more sweet and spicy everyday”
A man who was obviously in the doghouse said “We fight like Osama Bin Ladan and Bush but I love you a lot”
Try to figure out this quote, ” MOST unfortunate husbands find less opportunities to tell their wives how special they are to my wife.” I have no idea what he meant to say but it sounds funny.
Finally my favorite, be sure to save this one for your spouse’s V-Day Card for next year:
“If we just hang in there, we will emerge as the CUSTODIANS OF PASSION!”
LOL, I guess that is one love that really needs to be swept under the rug!
If you’ve heard me tell the stories of our travels throughout the country you’ll know I am not a fan of the local traffic police. However, the locals are much harder on these men then I am. A recent newspaper article ran with a header declaring that traffic police were now giving people tickets for giving way to ambulances. The article made it clear that a local driver was approaching an intersection when he noticed the flashing red lights of an ambulance behind him. Being polite he moved out of the way to allow the ambulance to pass. The article went on to blast the traffic police for then pulling over this kind driver and ticketing him. It was not until the very end of the article that they noted that the driver, in his attempt to make room for the ambulance, decided to run a red light and make an illegal turn. I almost laugh out loud when I read articles like this. The writers twist things around to give you one sense of the events only to have you later realize the truth. I’m pretty sure if we talked to the policeman he’d tell us the ticket was for running a red light and doing an illegal turn, not for making way for an ambulance and the article suggested. The crazier thing is that there will likely now be a demonstration in front of police headquarters demanding that people should not be ticketed for being polite. Go figure.
A recent newspaper article explained the provincial governments new plan to combat high unemployment rates. Any ‘youth’ who lives in a poor community and cannot find adequate employment can receive help. No word was given on how these regulations will be checked or enforced. However, all that meet the requirements will be given a cow. Again the cow seems to be the answer to many a problem as it seems cows have been mentioned a number of times in this blog as solutions to various economic problems. Anyway, the plan is the youth will raise the cows and sell the milk solving their economic problems and helping the government solve its problem of not having enough milk suppliers. We’ll see how it goes!
One of our local pastors brought me an article from a newspaper printed in the national language here. He went on to explain that the article was about the plight of a suicide bomber who had been promised 70 virgins in paradise for his efforts in jihad. When his moment came his mind was full of fear and doubt and instead of succeeding with his mission, he passed out. He was out cold for a few hours. In the mean time, the police had discovered his limp body and taken him to a hospital. When the man finally regained consciousness he looked around his pale white room and the two nurses dressed all in white and said, “Where are the other 68 of you?”
Imagine his shock to discover the truth. Now consider the shock when he does actually die and faces eternal truth. The truth that outside of Jesus we are lost. That’s why we are here doing what we do, preaching the gospel to a lost and dying world, in a nation where millions of souls will one day wake up to the shock that they lived a lie when at the feet of Jesus every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord!
As much as I am excited to be back into our field of labor, we are quickly reminded of the things that make this country a true “mission field”. A recent article in the local paper described an incident in which a man had an argument with his wife and in anger he slapped her. The next day the wife’s brother kidnapped the man and bound him and locked him in a dark room. He was held captive there for the next 33 years! It gets worse. On one occasion someone had found out about the illegal imprisonment. The police broke into the house and found the man tied up and locked in a dark room. When the police asked the man’s brother in law why he was treating the man in this cruel way, the man replied, “He is mentally retarded.” So the police returned the man to his dark room and left feeling nothing was wrong! This story is SOOOO hard to believe on so many levels, yet there it is, in black and white in the local paper. I can’t even think of a comment for this horrid debacle.
Yesterday there were some protests in our country against recent US attacks on Islamic countries. The article describing the protests noted the people demanded an end to the US mazel attacks. I read through this four or five times before I realized they were trying to say missile. They way the article talked about the mazel explosions caused me some confusion until I figured it all out.
You may have heard that a Muslim country recently declared that Yoga is un-islamic and banned the exercise. Well, before the mulvis ban the exercise here a local company has come up with an interesting way to increase memberships in its yoga classes. This company is offering a Bridal Package: if you are getting married this month, and you buy a yoga class membership, then you will get a 50% discount on a make-up session before your wedding. I don’t know how all of that goes together but there must be a market for it somewhere!
This story really surprised me. It shows Evangelicals in a positive light and gives the testimony of how Christ saved a man in Brazil. The man in question had been a drug dealer. The article explains that the man had been so evil that he often killed other drug traffickers, chopped them up into small pieces, ate their flesh and drank their blood to intimidate other dealers from cutting in on his territory. The article then talks about how Christ was preached to this man and now the man who was the most notorious drug dealer in his city is a preacher of the Gospel of Christ! He is reaching other drug dealers with the love of Jesus! There are many Paul’s left in this world. There are many who are seen as the chiefest of sinners who can be saved and used as great evangelists. I rejoice over this man’s testimony and the thousands like him that we will see saved by faith!
